ping pong and ding dong ditch
its amazing how much free time i had today… this evening instead of doing “organized fun” Carlyle, Dawn, Katie, Kelsey, Jamie, Janice, Keely and i wached Penelope (james McAvoy and Christina Ricci), then Carlyle Jamie and i went and played ping pong for a while, till Aida joined us. We played for about an hour and a half, laughing, bouncing balls off things… it was fun when we came upstairs we were humming a tune we had played on the piano in the rec room, and decided to go up to the third floor and knock on a strangers door and run…. commnly known as DIng Dong ditch…. it was rather fun…. so i’ve been busy being a nuisance and running around with my LLC, getting to know eachother. Peace ya’ll
first few nights
we have moved in, we have packed, we have giggled, and talked, and traversed the campus, we have started to make friends, and we are slowly getting used to the vibe here. my room is simple, its has some cracks in the walls and door, my bed has no pillows (my fault), i have a few of my wall decorations up from my previous room (which seem to be more numerous than anyone else), i’ve spread out, and started to mess things up a bit, but not too much. i am at peace. it still hasn’t hit me that this is college, it feels more like a summer camp right now, but things will change in a few days. i’m finding some girls that i can relate to, ones that i can call friends now, still seeing what will happen when they see the real me. i’ve been holding back a little so i don’t come on too strong, i have a pretty boistrous attitude and personality. so far they like me…. we’ll just have to see what the days bring…finals and pms are all that i’m worried about….
i miss everyone a lot, but they’ve been keeping us so busy its freaking insane
landscapes that define us…
i wrote this essay as a placement test for college english, i don’t think it was entirely on topic, but it was somethign i put my heart into. how certain landscapes define us. i think we were supposed to generalize after a quick anecdote, but its hard to have a quick anecdote about trees, and rocks, and the beauty that surrounds us, or the skies, or the people that helped shape who we are. i remember as a child running through forests and over hills by myself for hours. i was at peace with everything, i felt one with the trees and the sky and life. things were good. i often dreamed of staying out there, in a tent or wigwam, away from everyone and remaing one with the earth. unfortunately a lot of that faded for me, why? because my life took a few turns for the worst and i never had the chance to go back. a couple summers ago i went with my sister and mom to the redwoods, i had the urge to just keep walking when we went on hikes, just keep going not turning back with them, just walking in silence through the old forests among the fern and moss with the coninual mist falling upon my head and shoulders. but i didn’t. i will go back there one of these days, and just backpack through, on my own. i don’t think i’d want anyone with me, unless they were willing to walk hours in utter silence and just look, and listen, and feel. again, one day i hope to do this….
here’s the essay anyways
N. Scott Momaday once said that “there is great good in returning to a landscape that has extraordinary meaning in one’s life.” Mr. Momaday may have had the right idea. There are certain landscapes, or environments, that help define us in who we are as people. The landscape that, I think, most shaped me is my childhood neighborhood.
My childhood neighborhood was not the typical American cul-de-sac, street, nor was it even near a town. I lived in a forested area in El Dorado County called Swansburrow. There were lakes surrounded by trees, roads shrouded by dark forests, houses buried deep in he woods, and hills covered in vegetation of the tree variety. In short, there were trees, of all kinds and sizes surrounding me and my home. I look back on those years of my life and just remember the life that those trees provided, the safety and comfort that the trees provided for the inhabitants of Swansburrow. With our houses hidden behind a veil of pine and Manzanita, people felt they could be more themselves in a haven of solitude.
Solitude, that’s what people moved to Swansburrow for. The families would have get togethers on holidays like 4th of July at the firehouse, but that would be the only time the adults would really interact. There were a few families that were intimate as friends, but mostly the adults kept to themselves and let the kids create the bonds. Every person under the age of 21 knew each other, and were considered kids in Swansburrow. Those without cars went around the miles of road on foot or upon bicycle. Even amongst our friendships and adventures, however, we were alone. We had the solitude of a community spread out and disconnected. We learned how to fend for ourselves during the long summer months while our parents were away at work. The older kids watched us, as long as they wanted, but let us go off on bike rides away from them, away from rules and expectations.
That environment truly taught me how to make decisions on my own, and take care of others. I was the oldest of the younger kids, so I was the one they turned to in the midst of a problem. I learned how to make fair decisions that benefited everyone from my experiences in the forest of my childhood. When I moved away from there, into town, I took those lessons with me, but I couldn’t take the solitude, or the trees that kept me shielded and safe.
I agree with N. Scott Momaday in his quote: “there is great good in returning to a landscape that has extraordinary meaning in one’s life […] they define us, and we say: I am who I am because I have been there.” Having lived in Swansburrow when I did really shaped who I am today. I have revisited the area since I moved away from it, and have since learned that I had a singularly unique experience that no child will ever relive. They have torn down my trees and built houses up to the edge of my lakes, but they have not taken away the Swansburrow in my mind’s eye, or the memories I accrued there.
The Mafia
me and my friends. bettcha can
so my freinds had this amazing idea during my sophmore year in highschool: lets have a mafia. we had days where we’d all get dressed up, and take a photo, like the one above. it was alot of fun. we never really thought twice about it,: running around all day in extremely good clothes. i gotta admit, seeing all my guy friends dressed up i suits was amazing. none of them ever really thought twice about me as a girlfriend, nor did i think twice about most of them, but they were hot. ah well, i like suits. but the mafia days, and mafia things in general made us a really tight group. only thing that ever botherred me was that i never got invited to things outside of school….. sounds like crapy friends huh? well they listenned when i needed it (mostly), and i listenned to them. we were a tight group. truly
Casanova
that word can ruin such nice things. especially when used in romance. self proclaimed casanovas are hard to trust, but once they win your haert and prove their worthiness, you can’t but not trust them (aka, you can’t help but to trust them inexplicably) gah….
anyways, my best friend had a boy that i thought would be perfect for her. as of nw i was wrong, but then he is just that, a boy. who likes his toys. i think that their lives willc ross paths again when he has grown up, but that remains to be seen… obviously. anywho, she and an old flame of hers are flirting again, apparently he seems to have grown up… i don’t know, i don’t know him and he’s stationed in texas, so we’ll see how that turns out…..
casanova lines…..ex girlfriends…. paranoia…. i love it all i geuss, i keep saying i do, and i do, but damn, sometimes its hard to handle all in the same convo
Jeff is ok….. but the funeral will be soon, so, we’re not great.
life is fleeting, take life by the cahonas and play ball 
dinner and a bit of bridget jones
i eat weird things…. today’s dinner consisted of broccoli with parmesan cheese, butterred toast, and a bowl full of honey bunches ot oats…. not exactly ballanced, but close enough…. but while i’m finishing my lovely milky bowl of honey bunches of oats, i’m watching Bridget Jones, the second one currently…. i feel a lot like Bridget, always saying the wrong thing…but apparently i’m not because people think i’m intelligent… or i am like Bridget and people just find my antics endearing and love me anyways… i don’t know which is worse; people thinking i’m intelligent when i really don’t think i am on a grand scale, or being though a twit, but an endearing twit…… be nice if someone would reassure me on this one… well at least i don’t have the suspicion like she does…… or the guy problems. i don’t have two guys braying after my every movement, but i do have the one really awesome boyfriend. but i do hope i don’t get angry at random things, like telling him i’m ok, but not being really…oh wait, i do do that. well crap. i’m a fuckwit, as bridget says…. ah well, maybe someone will tell me they love me anyways. even if i’m a twit that can’t shut up when she obviously should….
Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that’s the stuff life is made of.
a good man died today. Alan Johnson, Jeff’s grandfather. many of you have never met the man, but he was a kind and wonderful person. he was always there when Jeff needed him. Here’s to you Mr. Johnson, may you always be rememberred how you were, a kind warm hearted man. Blessed Be.
jeff is the friend i call my brother, our families have accepted that we are siblings. so his grandfather’s death is much like my own grandfather dieing. i didn’t actually spend a lot of time with him, but he was alwys good to jeff. they were very close. unfortunately, Alan had emphiseama and brain tumors… nice combination… he fell earlier this year and went into a coma for a while. when he came out of it he wasn’t the same. it was almost like he had alzheimer’s. but it was the tumors. Alan Johnson died though, this morning at 8 AM pacific time, on the 8th day of the 8th month in 2008. it should have been the most prosperous time of the next few years….but it wasn’t.
blessed be
weird poem about friends….kinda
Summer days
Spent in revelry,
laughter and comradery
Last days
spent together
before our immanant departure
Futurama and Phillip J. Fry
i am indulging myself today, and doing nothing in particular. i’m watching Futurama and eating dark chocolate m&m’s (R) to have a recoop day. i’ve been tired and can’t seem to get enough sleep, so i’m recooping.
anyways, Phillip J. Fry, probably the most amazing cartoon character ever. if he were a person that i knew, i think my boyfriend would be in trouble. but then, if he was a person, he’d probably be my boyfriend. i don’t know, fry rocks my socks. he may be an idiot sometimes, but he is amazingly sweet, and has these moments of inteligence that blind you with their brilliance. i happen to love 4 episodes the most that feature Fry and his willingness to do anything for Leela (i am such a nerd). the paarasite episode, where fry eats an egg salad sandwhich and woos leela with his newfound intelligence and rebuilt body. the next one i love isthe Valrntines day episode with the conversation hearts, you know the one. Fry looks through all the conversation hearts to find the one that sasys his feelings for leela, “you leave me breathless” which she sees after he suffocates himself to save her. next one that i love, is the very last episode of season 4 (i’m convinced they’re going to have to make more seasons). Fry rights an opera for leela with his holophone. the only thing in this really awesome one that gets changed about Fry is his hands, everything else is from his own mind. Another one,the last one, is The Stinger. Fry takes a stinger through the stomach to save leela from deeath. the rest of the episode is Leela’s coma induced thoughts, and fry’s voice coming through because he doesn’t leave her side. its awesome. Fry says all the wrong things, but tries so hard to do everything right, but ultimately screws it all up. occasionally he gets it right, like in the episode where leela has surgery to get a second eye, fry says “i like you just the way you are” when she’s complaining about how she looks horrible due to her cyclopsishness. when he gets it right he’s amazing, when he gets it wrong, its endearing because he tries so hard. thats why David reminds me of Fry i geuss, he tries so hard, and has a hard time getting things right… that and i can definately see him running around an apartment in his underwear eating bacherlor chow, its just the image i get when i think of him at college….
random bit of scientific information:
women have a larger olfactory sense then men. we can actually smell when a man is aroused…. anyways that was just a weird fact… oh another weird fact connected to that one, if the chemistry is right then the woman will get arroused at the smell… ok, enough of that weirdness
Reese’s Puffs Cereal is…pointless
truly it is. why would a person pay the same price for one box of cereal as 2 boxes? it’d be so much easier to buy coco puffs of some sort and a peanut butter cereal and have last twice as long….. these musings are quite normal for me, i just think people waste money on name brands when they can get the same quality in an “off” brand.
i was spending time with my boyfriend and his family earlier today. its always interesting with his family. his mother is very verbose, to the point of being overly so, and the men in her life talk very little in front of her. i think they agree with me in the fact that she does enough talking for the 4 of them. his father is a quiet man, who likes to see work get done on the winery they own with no complaining. he never gets this wish, but i think he fantasizes about it while his sons complain and take there time, and his wife complains after the work is done about smiling. my boyfriends brother is definitely a person to keep under scrutiny… he does odd things when he thinks no one is watching… very funny. he also talks to me a lot more than my boyfriend thinks he does, or ever thought Andy would. David (my man) thinks that his brother hate me and just puts up with me, unfortunately its the exact opposite, i think I’m Andy’s first crush or something… odd though it is. Andy is younger and a recluse of sorts. people seem to like him more than his brother, but i think that’s because he helps them with their homework and helps them pass their classes. how he manages that and remains a recluse i will never know. he is also a pig, he doesn’t clean up after himself and as the brothers share a room, it brushes off on David, much to my dismay. then you have my man, David, when his mother isn’t talking he is filling in the silence, but none of them listen to his ideas. i, myself, find them fascinating and habitually wonder how these thoughts can all come out of one head. if he could remember things more, I’m sure he’d be the next Steven king, and be better than he. we knew of each other all through high school, but didn’t really start talking to each other till our senior year when we thrown into classes together. i immediately found his thoughts fascinating, but his person a little vulgar and rude. it was strange how our relationship went from there. we pissed each other off and liked each other, we called each other mean names, but then would talk for hours and hours on-line and at lunch discussing weird things that nobody else around us knew about. i hated the fact that i liked him… but push came to shove and after a couple weeks of heavy messaging over winter break, we started dating. from there, we blossomed. it was strange, but felt so right on so many levels. i rarely felt embarrassed about things, i acted more myself around him, and things i had always wanted to do with a boyfriend he had always wanted to do with a girlfriend. we just clicked on every level. we still do. and his family (his mother included) has accepted me as one of their own. but they don’t understand David very much, if at all.
anyways enough of my blathering pointlessness
