sitting in psych
i’m really bored right now. i’m sitting in psychology, the subject mattter greatly interests me, but how its being presented…. it just isn’t great. of course the video we’re watching right now isn’t so bad, it has the guy who played Hawkeye in the telivised show MASH. they’re talking about phobias and how we can cure them with virtual reality; its kinda cool but its definately missing something when the professor bores me to tears.
i could be writing my essay for english, or at least highligthing information, but i don’t know if i’d be able to listen to the proffessor’s lecture if i was concentraiong that hard on something. i can write i this because it only takes half of my attention.
i wrote my sister a postcard last night, i’m going to put it in the mail, i couldn’t write much on it, but ii felt nice to write to her. my family is going through hard times, just like everyone else, and i wonder if i’ll be able to cintinue at my chosen institution of learning. i’m willing to go to a community college until i can pay for the right level of learning for me, but i’d rather not have to quit this 4 year college, it just wouldn’t be good.
new train of thought:
my proffessor has issues pronouncing words OB-session, Figger, and other weird things gah! its so freaking annoying! she drops sylables sometimes too! i feel kinda harsh criticizing this, but its such a pet peeve. where did the saying “pet peeve” come from? hmmm posttraumatic stress disorder… my heart goes out to the soldiers.
sorry i’m just skippng all over the place without actually saying anything… i’ll stop now
carpe diem
WHY is it that everytime i’m in here she mentions Rape or molestation? :’(
carpe diem
a little bit of this, a little bit of that
i am impatient today. i spent the last few days bedridden from the flu. it sucked. now i’m behind in homework and i really should be doing an essay, but i have no inspiration on the topics we’re supposed to write on. i’m so done with all the femminism crap that my school feeds us. its so annoying. yes, the writing is beautiful, but why go over 5-6 peices a month devoted to feminism, it just feel so brain washy. i thought i was a bit of a feminst when i came here, but i can tell that i am SO not one of them. i stand out on my own, just doing what i always did in school: not get involved and do my own thing, ignore the masses, and drink in the knowledge. i miss my guy friends to make me laugh at myself and all the women around me. i could so use them here.
i miss candles too. just a point of interest
there’s this story i started writing, i keep thinking about it, but i don’t know if i could continue writing it. i want to, but i don’t know. i have all these ideas- i don’t have writers block- i just don’t know if i feel it as much as i did the first time i started writing it, my situation has changed, therefore my view on the story has changed. i lost the inspiration, but i have ideas. weird i know.
i’m sittin in my dorm right now, with a half made bed, because i got distracted halfway through making it. i’m very distractable today. i’ve been stuck in this room for so long it seems. but thats what happens when you’re sick
My boyfriend took care of me while i was sick. he stayed in my dorm with me when he didn’t have class, he cuddled with me, he made me food when i could eat, he made sure i slept most of the day, he put movies on for me, he talked to me, he helped me to the bathroom when i needed to get there; he was just amazing. hell for an aniversary gift he bought us tickets to see Phantom of the Opera after giving me a box of chocolate coverred cherries. he spoils me and takes care of me, and to top it all off, he loves me exactly the way i am. who could ask for more than that?
i went to berkely last week and went to this really awesome print shop. i got my sister a christmas pressie and i bought some cards/postcards to send to her and my mother. i thought about sending one to my boyfriends mom, but decided since she emails me all the time i really didn’t need to talk to her more than that. but i’m trying to keep in touch with my mom and sister (especially my sister since we don’t really talk that much, we’re both so busy!) by the written hand. it’s kinda nice putting something in the mail for her since she sent me this awesome package full of fun things. i think i loved the picture of my nieces best.
oh, on campus my brother, my boyfriend, and i found my campus’s paper and saw the front page picture. it made us crack up. its a picture of obama raising his hand up to wave, but where the picture caught him is in the middle of what looks like a hitler salute. its so freaking funny in light of the views going around him.
anyways, this has been a little snapshot of my life the last few weeks. pass on my regards to the missus. don’t wait up for me honey i’ll be home late, gotta go out for a drink with the boys after partying at work 
love you all
Carpe Diem
English this year has given me the best inspiration
a tree,
a plant,
a wild jungle,
exploding fro my chest,
the rain only encourages it to grow;
sunshine gives it something to reach for;
harsh winds stregthen its resolve;
to cut it back is to give it only scars,
there is no lasting damage.
you cannot hurt a heart that truly loves,
for its love will grow stronger against your adversity
until it engulfs you,
then you are a part of
the wild jungle,
the plants,
the trees.
i have a bad feeling about this….
here’s what i started in math, but i stop at a random spot in it because i lost my train of thought
i don’t believe that one election can change how america is run, or how america thinks. Congradulations, we have a black man in the white house. that’s an amazing step for this country. but will it create the CHANGE that everypne thinks it will? i don’t believe that america is ready for a change of this kind, we think we are, but i don’t believe it. i don’t beleive we can implement the changes that we have been promised. i believe its impossible to do it all the way its been said in this ONE term of presidency.
here’s my new train of thought
i have a REALLY bad feeling about this. i don’t know why. i finally was able to watch his acceptance speach (Obama’s of course) and he is a grat orator. i’ve been listennign to people all day saying that his speach made them cry because it was so beautiful and he really meant what he was saying, but i noticed something…. he did this thing where he started off at a normal decible and as his speach went on he was raising his voice louder and louder, till the point where it was just before yelling, and then his speach ended. i don’t want to sound weird but, it bored such a striking resemblance to speaches given by hitler. as many of you may not know, Hitler was liked at the VERY BEGINING of his political career, he vowed to to bring the spiralling economy to a standstill and bring it up agian by cutting taxes and putting caps on governmental spending and creating jobs again. Obama vows to raise the economy, cap govermental spending, i have even heard him say he was going to cut taxes….. Hitler was a relative nobody then he popped up and quickly gained political power… so has obama…. hitler was a brilliant orator, he had charisma and could get an audience to believe in what he was saying without much effort… hasn’t obama done the same? Strange i know that i am comparing obama to Hitler. honestly, hitler was a horrible mark upon history and should never be repeated. obama, i never really cared for, but i see random similarities. maybe i’m just blowing my horn…. but i really have a bad feeling about Obama, i did before i saw the similarities between him and hitler. They both promise change in the interest of their nation…..they both mean it…. i fear.
sometimes, everything just is, and some people just are
its odd to me to find someone whom i barely know, and realize that their veiws will change my life. especially since if i was same person i was a year ago, i woulnd’t have been open enough to listen to her. there’s this girl in my english class, her name is Eva. she’s the girl i described as “if she threw up she’d throw up sunshine and daisies, but she’s not annoying” or something similar to that. she truly is amazing. apparently she’s lived on a few communes before she decided to go to college. you can definately tell in the way she talks and thinks that she did, she’s like a modern day hippy, but SO much better. she has broadened my horizans in a direction that i never thought that they’d go, towards the happiness that mankind can evoke in one another. she talks about being a bus driver because it promotes togetherness. she’s tired of people using anger as fuel for their causes. she skips in the rain, she has a brain and uses it. She and i usually dominate the in class dicussions we have in groups, nobody really likes to add onto it, because between the 2 of us they figure we cover all the differant perspectives.
a year ago, i would have laughed at her, and made fun of her for being a hippy weirdo. admit it, those of you who know me, can you think otherwise? i would have definately made fun of some chick who is all about love and lived on a commune or several. but things have been changing in my perspective in the last year. my opinions on emotions, men, people in general, politics, gas prices, tattoos, careers, best friends… all ideas have been alterred in some way. not just because of David, though he did have a hand in it…. but because of everything…
its been a hell of a year. lets just leave it at that for now
Carpe Diem
