Psychdreamer, life of a dork

              so this story that i started at the beginning of the semseter i had put on the back burner. i wrote a chapter on this one strain when i started it, but i’ve since decided i didn’t like that strain. it was based too much in reality. i’m enjoying this new strain, its even darker than the original, if thats really possible. i want to write a dark novel that somehow brings hope from those dark times. basically i want to write a book thats good for our current times. Its nearly Christmas, and i can sense people regaining a bit of that hope that was lost to them with the decline of the economy. 
                i’ve always maintianed that money doesn’t bring happiness, but in this day and age money = life. without it, we can’t eat, or travel. people were losing hope. for most of the nation (not me) the election of obama was the answer to thier prayers. but the economy didn’t pick up as they thought it would, so they started to slip into the characteristic despair that accompanies poverty. Living in basically a ghetto of Oakland has really opened my eyes to what this means. when i drive to the Bart station and back, i see streets lined with jobless poor, just hoping for someone to need them for a gardenning job for 20 bucks so maybe they can feed their kids a decent meal that night. forget about christmas. yea there are gangs around here and it really is frightening to drive around then, but i see it as a product of the world as it is, not the other way around as they tried to lead us to believe in my hometown. everybody is down and out right now. i just keep praying i get a job next month, or i’m dead in the water, i need to save up to continue my plan. which leads me to the hope. there is always hope. with out it, life is bleak and meaningless.  I see the hope in people coming back to life behind eyes that were previously coverred in doubt and fear. of the doubt and fear is still there, but the ray of hope is starting to shine through like a guiding star to a ship lost out on the ocean during a storm. its a break in the clouds it is, however, momentary, you cannot deny its existance and you cannot destroy the path of its existance.  hope inspires, hope can destroy, hope can create, hope can hurt, hope can heal, hope can inspire fear, hope can enrage the masses; hope is a strong emotion. Hope flourishes during times of love like the holidays, where people care about one another, where there is oppression, where there are people who can be courageous enough to face the world, where the sun shines, and the clouds take over. Hope is omniscient and ignorant. Hope is

Merry Christmas, i know it wasn’t all that happy, but Hope goes on!

Carpe Diem